why money can’t buy motivation

I have been thinking about some past employments I have had and why I left.  I was earning good money, earned some awards and putting away quite a bit into a pension pot too.  So why did I leave?  Was it because I like to be self employed?  Perhaps, I thought.  But what did I like about being self-employed?  The main thing that came up was the sense of being self managed or autonomous.  I have always been motivated and did many things like research in my own time because I liked to do so.

What I did not like in my employments was a ‘line manager’ poking at my records, filing up forms stating how many hours of (self directed) research I had done and going for performance evaluations.  After all, I was getting external validations such as awards and grants, so I could see any reasons for being evaluated by someone.  Also, I could not achieve my best because I was continuously having to limit my creativity due to external circumstances. In short, I did not achieve mastery although I was getting awards. There were also no purpose to my work- I just had to follow some outdated and uninspiring guidelines. I could not use my creativity and resourcefulness in directing my time.

So there we have it, we need a sense of autonomy, mastery and purpose in order to do our life’s work, in order to follow our heart. This cannot be induced artificially by someone, by someone’s rules or by money.  This has been researched by many organisations such as Harvard, London School of Economics and others but not yet used in every day work.  So now although I learn much less, I have a sense of autonomy, mastery and purpose to my time and work.  I found this video, which describes best what I went through, so I am sharing it here. Enjoy!


Sharing some surprises

I found some surprising research and inspirations on commonly held assumptions about human relationships and thought I should share them with you. Some of these come from the University of Westminster research by Dr Viren Swami and some from my own, sometimes bitter, experiences. However, having made some of these mistakes, I realise they are so true.

1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder TRUE false!

Despite the internet and mobile communications, it has been proven that the most of our closest relationships happen with people in our immediate surroundings, people we keep in touch with and meet regularly.  Even in romance, the chance electrifying encounter won’t make it into a relationship, if both parties do not make physical contact and keep up that contact.

2. Opposites attract TRUE  false!

The idea that there is our better or even other half somewhere (the ‘one’) that make our existence complete is not true. In fact as Buddhism notes, we are the mirror and we attract people who are similar to us.  So if you are angry, you will attract an angry partner. So change yourself before you seek the ideal partner.

3. We choose partners who remind us of our parents NEITHER True nor false

Choice of partner is a complex issue.  Yes, we may be attracted to someone who reminds us of a parent but whether we stick with them is dependent upon point 2.  Appearance is only a small part of what the relationship is.

4. Its okay to idolise a person that you love TRUE false

Idolising someone actually dehumanises and objectifies them.  The person you have idolised becomes part of that lie and then if they make a mistake or hurt us, we are so shaken that our whole world collapses.  We must remember we are all human and we all make mistakes- so do remember to forgive!

5. People cannot change TRUE false

People change, they grow old with their experiences.  Sometimes they change for the better, sometimes for the worse.  Always be open to people changing and to yourself changing. If you don’t like that change and cannot be part of that, it is better to move on rather than expect people to conform to you.  Even relationships, sadly, have a lifespan. So go through life lightly, forgiving and moving towards love and happiness.