regrets – A Value Creating Life

my first art exhibition

May 15, 2015 Creative BuddhaLeave a comment

This week, my first ever art show opened. It may have been something vaguely I wanted to do in life but I really hadn’t thought much about it, except that it was ‘impossible’. Then I heard an inspiring talk given by a blind artist ( see my previous post on Annie Fennymore) and realised how actually I ‘understood’ her and her techniques for painting. I got talking to the person who organised this show and suddenly she turned to me and said, ‘Why don’t you exhibit your work too? We have a three month vacant slot here.’ I was deeply reluctant at first. My reaction was- ‘what if people don’t like it? what if people laugh at the work? what if people don’t get it?’ etc etc.

I was full of fear. But having thought about how much I was going to regret not taking this opportunity, I said yes eventually. Then I also decided to paint new work and re-worked some of the originals. I realised I had changed- I had taken on fear and won. Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” You can always learn from mistakes, but what if you’ve actually never made a mistake (as if that is possible!)? Life is all about making mistakes, learning from them.

It was hard work but I thoroughly enjoyed painting again. I didn’t try to please anyone- just painted to please myself and thought about what I would like looking at. Having now done this, I am in a daze- people have written so many kind words about my work. One said, “I have just been to have a look and the art looks amazing. You are very talented!”

Many people helped out, working on Saturday at 8-00 am working solidly for four hours to hang the pictures- none of them got paid to do this (although I certainly will send something to them). Someone who helped out with the hanging commented,”Just to let you all know that the pictures are all hung safely and, personally, think the corridor looks great…..several people have already admired them…..”

What can I say, I am speechless with gratitude! If my art moves and inspires people, even though technically it might not be amazing- it is perfect for me and them. It is my gift to the world. By taking on fear and leaving aside regrets, we can only become more creative and live true to our hearts. It doesn’t matter if I get any more compliments or not, or even if I get some nasty comments- I have won! So if you still thinking about something that you have never done, go for it now!

PS-writing this blog for the last three years also helped me to overcome my fears!

the black swan

May 30, 2013 Creative Buddha1 Comment

Yesterday, I watched the movie, Black Swan, about a ballet dancer who becomes obsessed with her work and appears to be surrounded by disturbed people who in turn have a destructive effect on her life. This movie deservedly won the lead actor, Natalie Portman, an Oscar. Seeing this darkly disturbing portrayal, I too began to wonder if I have been guilty of being obsessed with work. But following our hearts is not about obsession, rather it is about about compassion– for ourselves, for our failings and for others. In Buddhism, compassion and courage are known as two sides of the same coin. Compassion without courage may be toothless while courage without compassion could be ruthless.

When we have compassion, our lives begin to move forward and other avenues open up. I realised that having compassionate courage is the path of following one’s heart. Interestingly, Black Swan’s director, Darren Aronofsky, has this to say about following one’s heart- “I try to live my life where I end up at a point where I have no regrets. So I try to choose the road that I have the most passion on because then you can never really blame yourself for making the wrong choices. You can always say you’re following your passion.”

the 18/40/60 rule

May 20, 2013 Creative BuddhaLeave a comment

I am of the sensitive kind and try to please others (as I am sure most of us do). Most of my life I have followed other people’s hearts. Now recently I have taken the step of following my own heart and starting writing this blog to give myself some courage and lift.

I read this somewhere- when one is 18, one worries constantly about what others think of them; when one turns 40 one does not care what others think of them and when one is 60, one realises that no one was thinking of them all along! Well, wouldn’t we be all the more wiser and true to ourselves if we only followed the ’60 rule’. I think some of us stay at age 40 or even 18 all our lives! It is not easy but we can start today to be ’60’, no matter what our age.

‘Being 60’ a courageous step- I sometimes feel quite fearful about the steps I have taken recently in my professional and private life but most of the time I feel so happy doing what I have always wanted to do. I wish I had started earlier but at least I have started this journey before the age of 60 anyway, before it is too late. But even if you are 60, don’t worry or have regrets, it is never too late- just start today! As Daisaku Ikeda says,”It is not about how others are or how society is. The most important thing is to ask yourself, “What should I do?” and “What can I do?” One who stands up with moral courage and conviction can change society and create waves of transformation around the world.”