How not to worry

I used to be a big worrier but now I think I have only 10% of that amount left in me.  My beloved late uncle used to say, “Hurry and worry are the biggest threat to someone’s life”.  If I look back at something that had troubled me in the past and then analysed what had actually happened, I could see that all the horrible things I had thought that might have happened, never did.  So why did I worry?  There might have been childhood insecurities as sometimes I did not have enough to eat or wear.  My dad worked long hours and I was worried I would not see him.  But anyway, I have met others who had exactly the same circumstances but not as huge worriers as me.  So perhaps it was genes.  Whatever it was, it was not good that I used to grind my teeth at night (I still wear a teeth protector at night), bite my finger and fidget endlessly.  So I am pleased that it has all but gone now.  What do I do now?

Apparently this method for not worrying was discovered by Willis H Carrier- the inventor of modern air conditioning.  According to him there are three steps-

1. Work out what is the worst that could happen in a situation (usually never happens)

2. Acceptance of the ‘worst position’- what a relief this step is!

3. Work out how to remedy the situation in step 2 (most of the time we never get to step 2 or 3)

A few weeks ago, I had a letter from the tax office who were querying some figures I had given.  I was about to go away so I asked for some time to respond.  Instead of worrying, I calmly went about collecting the information they had asked for before I left so that I could enjoy my holiday in peace.  I also thought about what the worst situation I could face- perhaps a fine.  So I looked at my bank balance and realised that I could pay a small fine off.  Eventually I sent off the letter and today I got a reply which said the tax office had accepted the figures and evidence I had given them.  A few years ago, I would have probably bitten my entire hand with worry even before sending anything off.  That hurry and worry go together as my Uncle said is so true- a calm acceptance and analysis of a situation can help us through worry.

So what about that 10% of worry that is still left in me?  I actually think it is good- it keeps me on my toes and urges me to take action.  If I was so indolent, then I would be careless too.  Excessive worry does not keep us in the moment- it takes us into the unknown future or the unchangeable past. Worry is not empowering- let it go!  As Kalidasa, the ancient Indian poet says below so eloquently, we need to live in the present moment-

Exhortation of the Dawn!

Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!
Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.
In its brief course lie all the
Verities and Realities of your Existence.
The Bliss of Growth,
The Glory of Action,
The Splendor of Beauty;
For Yesterday is but a Dream,
And To-morrow is only a Vision;
But To-day well lived makes
Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,
And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.
Look well therefore to this Day!
Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!

Advertisement

Making decisions

All our lives, we make decisions. Yesterday, I was so tired and yet I was trying to push myself to go to another social outing in the evening.  In the end, my brain and body both refused and fortunately I decided to listen to them.  Although I still feel tired from the week’s work and I slept for 11 hours, I shudder to think what would have happened if I had gone out last night.  I had been saved from my own stupidity!  Social outings apart, we still need to make many big or small decisions every day.  So here are my tips-

1. Listen to yourself – Some one mentioned ‘instinctive intelligence’ to me the other day and it instantly triggered something in me. So many times, we ignore the voices in our body (and I don’t mean the voices in our head) that are telling us that something is wrong and that we should do something.  So yesterday’s not going out was a form of ‘instinctive intelligence’.

2. Do not hurry but do not tarry–  Set a time for yourself unto which you need to decide.  I recently had to replace my 8 year old computer.  I did all the research into the best computer for my use, what the best prices were, where to buy it and who could give me a hand getting it from the shop to my home and then waited until my savings were there.  Then I just bought it- no more thinking.  There are no check boxes in life!

3. Think about the impact– your decision will have an impact upon your life.  What sort of impact do you want it to have? What difference do you want to make to your life?  Try to visualise the end result and then take the steps towards it.

 

Finding Inspiration in daily life

Some days it is difficult to write and I struggle. On such days, I silently pray for inspiration to come to me and- it does!  On the way to the doctor this morning, instead of cycling, I decided to walk. This walk takes me by the train station I had mentioned in my post dated May 14th 2013.  I saw this quote written on the board today-

Image

When I saw two men working there, I asked them if they knew the person who wrote the message on the board.  It turned out that one of them was that person.  We had a brief chat and I told him how much his daily words inspired me and that it was such a special thing to do, especially when the newspapers are full of doom and gloom and most boards at train stations only had news about train delays.  He said that he did not know if his words inspired people as they hurried past to get to the trains or whether someone even looked at the board- he just did it because perhaps they inspired his own self.  I thought exactly so, that is why I write this blog every day!  Now I know, just pray for inspiration to come to you and it will.

Thanks, Gabriele!

s[low]

I practice architectural design that is based on low energy principles- materials that use little energy to manufacture, materials that are from recycled sources and can be recycled and buildings that are low maintenance and need little energy to run.  Low energy appears to be something that gives the building long life.

Hearing about an Indian actor, Abir Goswami, who sadly died today aged 33 after having a massive heart attack on an exercise machine in the gym, I think low energy works for human beings too.  My Uncle, whose first death anniversary falls today, was a ‘low energy’ person- he practised yoga, not the gym, he ate and spoke slowly and calmly, living and enjoying every moment.  He lived up to an age of 96, looked no more than 60 years old and died peacefully in his sleep.  He used to say, “Hurry and worry are the worst things in life.”  There is a theory that we have certain amount of life energy and if we use it too quickly, then we fall ill or our bodies fail in some way.  That is why we have to rest when we are ill and often feel rejuvenated after such a forced rest.  Indian yogis who are reputed to live for around 100 years, practice meditation and yoga- both of which are low energy activities.  “Hurry too much and you will miss the boat”- so goes the saying.

With all the slow movements such as slow food, idleness, tai-chi, etc getting very popular today and even medical research supporting the view of slowness, I am convinced that going slow helps us all.  No matter how much faster your latest computer or telephone may work, the ultimate processor, i.e. your brain, will always work at a certain peak speed and will often slow down in moments of concentration.  Being slow is not the same as being lazy- my Uncle was always busy doing things that mattered to him, i.e. using his life energy purposefully.  Slow induces calmness and tranquility that I associate with water, so I made up with my son’s help this haiku to help me remember to slow down and enjoy the moment-

Image

Still, Life, Open Water- slow

Your tranquil head

Flows down to follow your heart