On being wrong

Being wrong is human, being perfect is the quality of gods.  The reason we humans make mistakes is because we need to learn, we need to polish our lives and we need to grow.  All these reasons are valid and yet often we are ashamed of admitting our wrongs- mostly because of our ego and also because society is not accepting of wrongdoing.  Of course, reckless or deliberate wrongdoing is criminal but unintentional wrongs are right. I have been reading a lot about ‘wrongness’ (for example, see the book below) and it has made me reflect on things I have done wrong and how I tried to conceal my mistakes instead of learning from them.

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Earlier this week, I went to a great presentation on medical mistakes and these are some of the six points I noted which made the most impact on me-

  • Best people can make worst mistakes
  • Systems will never be perfect
  • Humans will never be perfect
  • Acknowledge mistakes and learn from them
  • Consider a way of working that is not wholly reliant on individuals
  • Share your stories widely

Unless we learn that personally and collectively as a society that failures and wrongs are good for us, we will never grow as empathetic and creative human beings.  That is why sharing our ‘wrong’ stories are good too- hope you will share some of yours and what you learnt from them.

the hunted

There is an important rule in relationships- that is, never hunt for a relationship!

Have you ever looked at someone and thought,’Ahh, he/she looks good (or has a great job/sense of humour/is rich/whatever), I could go out with them.’? Have you ever talked to someone all the while secretly judging them to see if they are worthy of being your partner? Have you ever thought about someone with the intent of meeting them because you thought that they might be good for you? Have you trawled bars, dating sites, school playgrounds for that one person? Then you have been hunting for a relationship.

And have you wondered why that person never responded, called you back, or hastily backed off in the middle of a conversation? That is because each of us have a ‘hunted’ radar- we can tell instinctively when we are being hunted and we run for our lives!

To get a good relationship, we have to become a person who can attract someone to us, without either party feeling hunted or becoming the hunter. That means developing kindness, compassion and respect towards everyone. That means being open to love and relationship. And then, someone will come along, drawn towards your human qualities, not your animal ones.